3.3.18 Life’s Good (Journal)

Sorry for the long time between updates. Not that anyone is clutching to the edge of their computer screen just waiting, but for me, it’s good for my soul to get things out and communicate, even if it is mostly just for me. To the one or two of you who stumble upon my blog, thanks for visiting!

Life’s been good… Still working and doing well in school and work.

Brian and I celebrated our 6 month anniversary last month (Feb 21), which was the same week as his birthday and Valentines Day, pretty much. Busy week! We ha a much needed trip to Santa Fe that weekend and had an amazing time. Brian has been having severe chest issues the past two months (he has costro-condritis – sp?) We have been dealing, though. Thankfully, I’m pretty understanding of his illness; let’s just say I have extensive history with ill partners. I’ve tried to be understanding, patient, loving, kind and forgiving, and Brian has told me he appreciates it. It’s nice to know that he validates that and doesn’t take advantage of me. I hate to say that because he’s not even on the same level as others in my past, but it has happened to me (been taken advantage of) and I’m quite cognizant of it now. Things are going great there. Just hoping his health improves, but it’s pretty much up in the air from day to day, and I try to always be understanding and patient.

My Mom’s Dad passed away, I learned, early this past week. His name is Leonard and he was in his mid to late 80’s. He is her bio-dad but he was never interested in me or my sisters lives. He left my grandmother when all their 5 kids had moved out. He was already an alcoholic then anyways. But yeah, I don’t really consider him to be my real grandfather since he was such an absent and awful one to us (on our side of the family) but you know.. Mom was the closest of her 3 sisters and brother to him and so I wanted to be there for her. I kept in touch with her this entire week and made sure she knew I was there for her. She never seemed like she needed to talk, but I wanted her to know she could if she had wanted. Mom sent me a pic of her Dad which made me a little sad inside. Not sad for me but sad for her, and her lifetime’s goal of trying to get his attention, and how he mostly didn’t seem to care. I’m glad I wasn’t close to him, he probably would have made me want to try to get his affection, too. Because he was so absent (save for a few visits to see him and his creepy wife when I was really young) I just simply could care less.

My Dad finally had his cancer surgery last week. Late last year, they found a cancerous spot on his left arm. During my holiday visits, I noticed how it was larger and grew with each visit. We had it analyzed and yep, it was definitely cancer. He got put on a long waiting list at the VA to have surgery and voila… 6 months later, he had surgery to remove it (aside from the meds he had been taking which shrunk the appearance of it from as large as a watch face down to the size of a dime.) But yes, he is cancer free on his arm and stable mentally and doing much better than he was last year. I’m glad our family gets a little bit of rest thus far from the nonstop surgeries, appointments, and Alzheimers episodes. Hoping and praying to God we have a good year with Dad and his health. Mom is completely exhausted from taking care of him. She told me the other day that she had run out of patience and “didn’t know how much longer” she could go on with Dad’s mental state. I think it’s improved, or at least stabilized… but maybe it hasn’t?

I’m always amazed how even in my old age (42) I find myself turning more and more into my dad each and every day (minus the early alcoholism and late Alzheimers.) One of the main ways is that I become completely obsessed with something.. a new product, a new place, a new idea, a new thing.. and I hammer it home until it’s been done to death like an extra extra well done steak at Chili’s. (lol) For instance, I’m currently obsessed with Ham Radio (I have a tech license) and Nintendo games again (3DS, NES, GBA, Switch, etc.) Last month, it was cheap PC laptops. Before that, it was Atari systems and video games (portable ones). Before that, it was ham radio again for a bit. I’ll be willing to spend all my extra money and time on these things until they are completely done to death, and happily so. Dad does the same thing. One year it was antique lighters. One month it was cooking. Another month it was barber supplies (he was a barber for 50 years) like new razors or “t-edgers” or other things like barber shop poles and signage, barber chairs, etc. He could literally cut hair off the edge of his bed since he and mom’s entire bedroom is discarded barber shop equipment from years gone by. He’s amazing that way, and I guess I am too!

Ok, back to school work… Rode my bike today and I felt I really wanted to update my blog since it’s been a bit. Just been super busy with life.. school, work and relationship. But things are going well. Yes, pretty damn well.

I sincerely hope the universe is doing well, too.

xx

 

Picture: My profile picture on MySpace, March 2008, which is the last day I visited there before switching over to Facebook. Just unlocked my account the other day. Wow, what a trip down memory lane!

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