6.28.17 A Calling (Journal)

Since a young age, I have felt a calling.

A calling to help others, to do the best I can to find resources for those in need and to help improve their lives. This all started, for me, in the early 90’s when I joined my first LGBTQ college group.

The DFW LGBTQ Alliance met once a week in the library, and we discussed LGBTQ issues and more. This led me to coming out myself when I was 18, and venturing out to the gay clubs and bars, and pursuing that whole life of alcoholism and drugs for nearly 10 years. I lived, eat and breathed the gay community. I witnessed many friends (and exes) die from overdoses or AIDS. It was terrifying. I dedicated myself to then working at the AIDS Outreach Center to volunteer, where I met this great guy named Tony. We became close friends. He used to bring flowers to our work (for me) and lay little cards and notes out for me to find. (These notes, basically, said ‘I love you’ or ‘Wanna date?’) I started to fall pretty hard for him. This all happened over the course of a 3 year period. Then, one day I came to work, only to find he didn’t come in (which was a first for him) and then, later, we found out from his family he had passed from complications from HIV.

After Tony died, I was so heartbroken that I began to withdraw into myself. I got into yet another messy drugged-out relationship. When that ended two years later, I decided to become clean. That decision changed my life.

To this day, I have dedicated myself to helping others, which is why I’m currently in graduate school to get my masters in Social Work degree (MSW). I would love to help other drug addicted youth, gay youth, or gay homeless. I would love to help others where I have walked before, to hold out hope for them or to be a beacon of light for change, acceptance, love and understanding. And kindness.

I’m also a writer, and I am hoping to someday also write a self help book for gay youth who are longing for acceptance. I have many stories and coping mechanisms to share. And I can’t wait to get started. 🙂

 

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