One of the questions I get asked most by close friends and family is.. “Are you seeing anyone? What’s your personal life like?” Well, I live in the middle of a desert (lol.) Albuquerque, to be exact. There isn’t exactly the biggest dating pool here, let alone, anything sizable dating population for gay men in their mid-40’s. Sure, I’ve had a date or two here and there over the past 6 years of living here, but it seems like the only places to meet other single gay guys here is in online dating apps. Our ‘gay area’ here consists of one huge gay twink dance club called Effex and one or two other truly sketchy gay bars in rough parts of town. (The kind of bars where you could easily either get beat up in an alley and get your car stolen or pay the dancer enough to take him home as a prostitute.) The guys at these kinds of bars are super sketchy and shady.. not my cup of tea! So yeah, I’m pretty much ‘saving myself’ for that one special day or time when I run across someone worth my time and energy, or for when I completely move away to a bigger city again. So my dating life is pretty much random hookups from time to time and nothing more. As far as friends go, I do have two close local friends I’ve managed to keep close over the years I’ve been here. (My friend Leon and friend Matt.) Since I’m from Texas, I am a literal outsider (Albuquerqueans hate Texans, that’s mostly a local fact.) Also, I keep super busy with both school and work full time so I have very little time for other friends, although I always try to keep my mind and heart open to what comes my way.
Also, I wanted to clarify something.. when I say “when I run across someone worth my time and energy” I don’t mean that to sound bitchy. What I mean by that is.. someone who has: 1) goals in life, 2) an education, 3) a job and 4) a desire to be in a relationship and who also wants to include me in their lives. I can’t tell you how many times a guy has expressed interest in me, only to find he wanted a romp in the sack and nothing more, or a guy who comes across as awesome and then I find out he has a million friends and a huge social life, only to find he has like 1 hour for me a week. Not good. I’m serious about dating, and serious about being a good friend, so I only keep the ones that feel the same. That’s why I have only two close friends here locally. I’m not “one of them”, and I don’t have time to put up with B.S.
At any rate, that’s the current state of my dating and social life… I also wanted to add, I often like to just be alone.. go on a road trip to nowhere in particular and just listen to podcasts and music and just drive… sometimes i’ll take my camping gear and stay overnight.. we have some gorgeous places to came out here in the high desert. There’s always a place to go hiking or camping, biking or walking, and I always have a good time, even when I’m alone.
Have a great weekend!