Sorry for the long time between updates. Not that anyone is clutching to the edge of their computer screen just waiting, but for me, it's good for my soul to get things out and communicate, even if it is mostly just for me. To the one or two of you who stumble upon my blog,... Continue Reading →
2.8.18 Random Thoughts 1,259
These random thoughts are brought to you by... me being a procrastinator and not doing my homework. Ok, here goes... š I'm currently addicted to the low calorie vegetable egg rolls at Dollar Tree. God help me. Another thing the bf has suggested that I love. lol Check this out, too. Recipe for Cinnamon... Continue Reading →
2.4.18 Blissful B (Journal)
Having an amazing weekend, I hope you are too! Yesterday was probably one of the most amazing Saturdays I've had in my entire life. I spent a wonderful entire day with my boyfriend B yesterday. It was probably one of a handful of times in the past five months that we've been able to share... Continue Reading →
1.30.18 Soap Box: Why Trump is really bad for America
*Begin rant./* OK. I am not a politically correct Democrat from up North. No, I'm a Southern Democrat. So I'll tell it like it is, with a dose of southern shade, as expected. While I hate the negative news and negativity in general, I must express something tonight that has been killing me inside... Continue Reading →
1.29.18 Fix-A-Flat Boyfriend (Poem, 2004)
Retro Poetry Intro: This poem appeared fourteen years ago in my personal poetry book #72, "1920's Love Songs (Or, Fuck It Sweetie)" Jan-Apr 2004. Obviously, I was a little tired of dating the same pieces of crap that I had come across in the 11 years I had dated prior to this. Enjoy! FIX-A-FLAT BOYFRIEND.... Continue Reading →
1.28.18 Shannon Lay: Living Water (Music Spotlight)
So, I heard this artist today on my Spotify curated personal playlist. This haunting, almost mystic voice followed me around my house. A sincere mixture of loneliness, love, happiness, intense emotion and realness. I had to glance at my Spotify. The artist's name was Shannon Lay and the song was called "Recording 15." The album... Continue Reading →
1.27.18 Tech Review: 2017 Microsoft Surface Pro. The best laptop for bloggers and creators.
Review by Brian Bolding. This month, I'll be taking a look at the 2017 Microsoft Surface Pro, the Core M base model which is currently available as an educational bundle at Best Buy for $699, complete with type cover in the box. Note that this new model does not contain the Surface Pen, like... Continue Reading →
1.25.18 Some Hilltop Delusions (Poem, 2013)
The following poem was written on March 1, 2013 and appeared in my personal poetry book "Monsoony" (Sep 12-Mar 13) * * * * standing on a snowy hill looking over the universe or Albuquerque, if you will; and I'm feeling a little damaged but its suddenly okay because i remember its simply my... Continue Reading →
1.24.18 Late January Update (Journal)
This week has been interesting. Bracing, defiant, frantic and full of color. I had a nice surprise lunch at my place with the bf today, which was a nice change. I pick him up usually, and we go somewhere fast-foody and quick so we can share most of the hour together kissing in alleyways in... Continue Reading →
1.22.18 Official Website Re-Launch Day
Today is the official 're-launching' of my website... my semi-permanent home on the Inkernet over the years.. more formally known as brianbolding.com ! This website has been in and out of my ownership over the years, and I just renewed it for 5 years, so I should be good for awhile again. *Insert canned laughter.*... Continue Reading →
1.21.18 Dispense of Suspense (Poem, 1991)
Retro Poetry Intro: I wrote the following poem at the age of 15 for Poetry Book #6 - March 1991 - "Departure." At the time I was suffering with testicular cancer and was also coming to grips with my hidden, secret sexuality. I also hadn't been to regular school in a while and was missing... Continue Reading →
1.20.18 B Positive. (Journal)
One of my ongoing 'resolutions' (if you can call it that) is to take a big deep breath each and every new year and remind myself that it takes more energy to be angry than just being happy and positive. So, in my usual tradition, I'm hoping not only my life but yours is as... Continue Reading →
1.18.18 Random Thoughts #1,258
My Dad's Favorite Quote That Was Repeated Often In My Childhood: "Proper Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance!" Obsessed with Atari again, just bought Atari Flashback Portable 2, Atari Flashback 8, and Atari Flashback 8 Gold all in one night. Heaven help me š I like wearing fuzzy slippers and my warm bathrobe in the morning.... Continue Reading →
1.15.18 Satire of the Most Beleaguered Fellow (Poem, 2001)
(This poem was originally written on October 3, 2001 and was published in the final Nov/Dec 2001 issue of my zine, 'Pop Art Trash') once again, life has got her ragged little claws in me. need I bother to ask for sym- pathy? Iām lost, rotten to the very base, I rest my case.... Continue Reading →
1.14.18 Photography Goals & Broadening Horizons
This year, one of my personal goals is to take more photographs. To be honest, I have a Canon Powershot G7X Mark II which is amazing. I sold my Canon T5i Rebel DSLR camera, which was very hefty and too heavy to take on most of my hiking adventures around town. Last year at the... Continue Reading →
1.12.18 New Beginnings (Journal)
Hey! Hope you and yours are having a wonderful new year... As I embark upon this new year, I am extremely grateful for so many things. I wrote about this at length previously so I won't go into it as much this go round, just know that I understand all the blessings God has given... Continue Reading →
1.7.18 New Year (Journal)
Wow. 2018. I'm already mis-typing it as 2017 or like 1/7/17 and such. I guess this happens the more of these years that I encounter. Felt a little dizzy and off today, not sure what it was. Allergies or a sickness my body was averting or whatever. Anyways, just wanted to type up an update... Continue Reading →
1.2.18 Look Out for the Silver Lining (Poem)
On days like this I find it helps so much To look out for the silver lining Sometimes itās within touch Trying to turn a sad face Upside down isnāt always The easiest thing to do But ignorance pays Look for the keys To having a brand new day Look for the path That will... Continue Reading →
1.2.18 In The Making (Poem)
Iām a little pup Here for the taking Wrapped up in a bow in a basket Iām a sex animal in the making Iām salivating wildly Here on all fours Oh baby touch me once Touch me twice, Iām all yours Iām a little angel With horns so sharp and pure I used to have... Continue Reading →
1.1.18 Fresh Start (Poem)
Today is a fresh start A new beginning... Today is the start of endlessly winning. Finding the silver lining In and out of everything... Today is a fresh start A brand new inning. Today is the start of anything other than yesterday... Today is the start of having nothing new to say. Today is a... Continue Reading →
12.31.17 This is the End / New Beginnings (Journal)
As today draws to a close, I canāt help but look back upon the past year and deem it a successful if a little turbulent year. Politically, donāt go there. This year was terrible. Everything else was pretty great for me.. I took steps to improve my life by undergoing varicose vein surgery in March.... Continue Reading →
12.27.17 Random Thoughts #1,257
1. Sometimes life seems worthless and humdrum Then I think about how grateful I am, and my heart smiles. 2. I just need to savor the small things. Everyday canāt be fireworks, fucking and fun. 3. People easily irritate me, and then I think, am I that irritating too? 4. My new years resolution is... Continue Reading →
12.25.17 What Christmas Means To Me (Poem)
What Christmas Means To Me Ā Up at the crack of dawn Shivering a little from the morning cold Holding back another yawn I never do what I am told Put on a pot of coffee That I just canāt wait toĀ Sip so blissfully Ā Iām up before mom or dad I just want... Continue Reading →
12.19.17 Five Days Before Christmas (Journal)
So, itās five days before Christmas.Ā How did we get here so fast? Where did the year go? The past few years, Iāve been saying that to myself. Time flies. And with each passing year, it flies by faster and faster. Time is getting shorter and shorter.Ā Somedays, I just want to pause everything like... Continue Reading →
12.18.17 What I’m Listening To.
Music Iām listening to Dec 2017 *Foster the People - Sacred Hearts Club *LCD Soundsystem - American Dream *Sufjan Stevens - Tonya Harding *Jaffa - Echoes *Eminem - Untouchable *Sam Smith - The Thrill of It All *Jazz Vibes - Spotify Playlist
12.18.17 It’s Been Awhile (Journal)
Hey! B here. Sorry itās been so long. So much has happened in my life. Wanting to post a quick update. (Quick for me takes on an entirely different meaning.) Since this past Summer when I last posted, I entered a new relationship with this awesome guy named Brian - (yes, Brian, like me) -... Continue Reading →
7.12.17 What I’m Listening To
Music I'm listening to this month.. Oldies and Newbies! *SMASHING PUMPKINS - SIAMESE DREAM *311 - MOSAIC *WHITE TOWN - WOMEN IN TECHNOLOGY *MOBY - PLAY *FORTRAN 5 - BAD HEAD PARK *COUNTING CROWS - NEW AMSTERDAM: LIVE 2003 *HOWIE DAY - CEASEFIRE *MARILYN MANSON - THE PALE EMPEROR *DOLLY PARTON - ARTIST COLLECTION... Continue Reading →
7.11.17 Igloo City (Poem)
Igloo City by Brian B. Ā When I turn 50 I wanna be real nifty Write books about self pity And dwell in an igloo city. I wanna be real rich I wanna be real bitch I wanna help poor people And shit on the steeple. Ā When I turn 85 Please make me... Continue Reading →
7.11.17 10:59 (Poem)
10:59 By Brian B. Ā Looking over at the clock Itās 1159, itās 1159 again Oh where did the time go Oh where has the day gone I wish I was smoking a big ass blunt Out on the front lawn Standing there chewing On tabacco and bacon Standing there sighing Realizing Iām completely butt... Continue Reading →
7.10.17 Storehouse (Journal)
I met up today with a woman who is doing outreach for Storehouse, a local non-profit food bank that I actually utilized upon moving to Albuquerque about 6 years ago. The Storehouse changed my life. Let me explain why. When I moved to Albuquerque over 6 years ago, I had only $20 to my name... Continue Reading →
6.29.17 Failsafe (Poem)
Failsafe by Brian B. Ā Engines blaring Outside my window I just want to be Far away someplace you know I wanna be a nobody So I canāt get hurt again Or shot down and killed In broad daylight like other men Or stepped on and humiliated Like everyone in this town Let me be... Continue Reading →
6.28.17 A Calling (Journal)
Since a young age, I have felt a calling. A calling to help others, to do the best I can to find resources for those in need and to help improve their lives. This all started, for me, in the early 90's when I joined my first LGBTQ college group. The DFW LGBTQ Alliance met... Continue Reading →
6.27.17 More Coffee Cups & Loneliness (Poem)
More Coffee Cups and Loneliness by Brian B Ā Slurp Slurp Take another swig Of the neverending coffee cup that overflows with random ideas I cannot hide. Shrug Shrug I donāt wanna be lonely But at my age and living in a small town means Iāll probably be alone for awhile. As I look to... Continue Reading →
6.25.17 A Whole Man (Poem)
"A Whole Man" by Brian B. I just want a whole man to call my own Someone to hold me so I'll never feel alone Someone to cherish all my idiosyncrasies Someone to love me until I'm weak in the knees I just want a whole man to protect me from the night Someone... Continue Reading →
6.24.17 What I’m Listening To.
Current music favorites: BRIAN ENO - MUSIC FOR AIRPORTS MOBY - 18 & 18 B-SIDES BUSH - BLACK AND WHITE RAINBOWS THE CHAINSMOKERS - MEMORIES... DO NOT OPEN DAVID BOWIE - LEGACY TWIN PEAKS - ORIGINAL SOUNDTRACK (1990) BONOBO - MIGRATION BOARDS OF CANADA - TOMORROW'S HARVEST 311 - MOSAIC THE NATIONAL - TROUBLE WILL... Continue Reading →
6.23.17 Dating & Relating in the High Desert (Journal)
One of the questions I get asked most by close friends and family is.. "Are you seeing anyone? What's your personal life like?" Well, I live in the middle of a desert (lol.) Albuquerque, to be exact. There isn't exactly the biggest dating pool here, let alone, anything sizable dating population for gay men in... Continue Reading →
6.22.17 Tech Reviews: Microsoft’s Surface Laptop is “Simply Stunning.”
Read my reviewĀ on myĀ TechĀ Review page, or click below: http://wp.me/P8NfHw-2A
6.21.17 Blue Period (Poem)
Blue Period Poem by Brian Bolding Photo from texasescapes.com 6.21.17 Ā Suffocating silhouettes, Route 66 abandoned gas stations call to me Smoking too many cigarettes Thoughts that live in infamy⦠ (Languishing away in a coffeeshop on a Saturday Vignettes of loneliness Scattered through my mind If only I had the courage To stand up... Continue Reading →
6.20.17 A Fatal Overdose of Nothing (Poem)
A Fatal Overdose of Nothing By B Bolding 3.16.16 Ā I want a mystery man To hold me in the moonlight Get my rocks off Throw me into a pool of ecstasy And I want a fatal overdose A fatal overdose of nothing Donāt touch me, I donāt even care Donāt look at me, donāt... Continue Reading →
6.20.17 B-Ware (My June 2017 Tech List)
Newest tech that has passed across my desk this month: -Microsoft Surface Laptop (2017, Cobalt Blue, i5, 256GB, 8GB Ram) -HP 201 Mini (2010) -Commodore C64 (2) and 2 Pro Models -2 Commodore Floppy Drives -1 Commodore Pro Floppy Drive With all this new and old tech, I am feeling pretty nostalgic and excited, I... Continue Reading →
6.19.17 City Sleeps & Sidewalk Sweeps (Poem)
City Sleeps & Sidewalk Sweeps By Brian Bolding As the night comes to a close A lone black man reads his prose Standing on a stage in an empty bar Singing to the passing of a car The whistling winds skirt past The daylight never lasts A couple fights 14 stories up A drunk... Continue Reading →
Writing as Therapy for Gay Men.
October 27, 2011 From my private journal. Writing as Therapy for Gay Men By Brian Bolding As a gay man in todayās world, we need to equip ourselves with tools to make sure we get through the days. I found early on in my life that I needed a creative outlet to channel... Continue Reading →
6.18.17 Father’s Day (Poem)
Ā Fathers Day by Brian Bolding Ā You raised us You raised us so well At the time I thought Living with you was living hell Ā You raised us You taught us to be strong I kicked and I screamed And I hated it all along Ā You raised us up You taught us to... Continue Reading →
My Hate Crime Story.
The following story is an edited excerpt from Chapter 13, āGrowing Pains,ā from my first novel, Sweet Pea, which I wrote from 1990-2005. It includes information from previous and later chapters, so as to convey the story best in this format. This story is a graphic and offensive, but completely true account, of a hate... Continue Reading →
6.17.17 The Birds at Dawn (Poem)
Ā 'The Birds at Dawn' from May-June poetry book, "Maydays" Photo / Jim Winstead / Flickr Poem By Brian Bolding Ā They dove away Fleeing the light of the city To some darker clouds overhead Where you canāt see The mischief and the agony The calling from far far away In another time, another world... Continue Reading →
6.16.17 Owls & Things (Poem)
Owls and Things By Brian Bolding Ā Stayed up late all night Wondering about owls and things And unclean kitchen bowls And kitty cats with butterfly wings Stayed up late last night Thought about just moving away Packing up everything and Driving off into the brand new day Stayed up way past bedtime Thought a... Continue Reading →
6.15.17 Living in Obscurity (Poem)
Living In Obscurity By Brian Bolding Dining alone again Oh look theres a fuzzy on my chin You say Iām distracting myself from the truth Oh man whatās that on my tooth You say Iām deliberately avoiding this big thing So am I living in sin Iāll say it, Iāll say it again ... Continue Reading →
5.31.17 The First Time.
Hello there. Brian here. AKA ballistik coffee boy on LiveJournal for over 20 years. UNTIL... one day, I logged on, and it had suddenly been sold to the Russians. Yeah. NO kidding. And they were about to start flagging posts that mentioned homosexuality and remove them and fine the poster. Not joking. After over 11,000... Continue Reading →
5.31.17 Test
This is the post excerpt.